Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
