So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
