Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
