I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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