you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
