I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
