what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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