I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
