Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Your penis caused this!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
