her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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