I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
