I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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