I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize