Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
