Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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