I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
