the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
