"it" just moved
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize