You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
