I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Congratulations! We have a period
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