There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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