Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
