you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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