just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
vagina is talking i cant
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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