Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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