I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The feeling are messing with the penis
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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