I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I enjoy the company of your penis
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
