i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
