dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
