I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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