ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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