please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Buhtt sex?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
