There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
