you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
