Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
