ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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