I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
