This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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