i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
