we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
