I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
where are my eyebrows?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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