um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
