I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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