When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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