i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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