I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
