the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize