tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
