Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
