I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
