and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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