Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
