I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
