when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
