would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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