I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize