idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize